New Site!

Clearly I haven't blogged here in a while, but in case anyone is looking, I've started (and stuck to) something new:

http://364daystopurpose.wordpress.com/

Check it out!

101 things in 1001 Days!

Note: This list was actually created on my birthday, I'm reposting so I can keep track of what I'm doing. You are welcome to help keep me accountable!

IN PROGRESS - Purple
DONE - Green

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A few people have suggested that I put one of these things together, so since it's my birthday, and I'm snowed in, I figured my not start my list today! These are in no particular order

Ultimate Completion Date: Sunday, November 4, 2012


1. Visit Italy - Rome, Venice, Milan... I'm flexible

2. Graduate from the R.H. School of Business with my MBA

3. Become a "Big Sister" again

4. Do another Habitat for Humanity project

5. Take my dad to Vegas for the first time

6. Take my mom back to the Caribbean (updated March 22)

7. Get Engaged

8. Babysit my adorable nephew

9. Re-activate with ZPB

10. Collect 3 Crystal Figurines for my mantel

11. Attend Daghrib's graduation

12. Reach my goal weight of 150, plus or minus 3 pounds on average

13. Pose in a real photoshoot for a personal portfolio

14. Start a scholarship at PITT for engineering students

15. Start a scholarship at UMD for engineering students

16. Close out the consulting project with OS (Kinda sorta got into a new project..)

17. Get my first ever Facial (updated March 22)

18. Save $20,000 for a downpayment on a house

19. Read one non academic book per month for 12 months straight (updated March 22)

20. Meet up with my childhood Bestie for lunch... FINALLY - Come on Z!

21. Join a recreational sports team (preference towards VBall and FBall; Softball and BBall ok)

22. Make another pot of Gumbo

23. Go to a Boston Celtics game with Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen playing

24. Don't look to other people for my own happiness

25. Take a weekend trip with Fran

26. Go to a Zeta Boule

27. Learn to speak another language fluently (Spanish, French or Hindi)

28. Ride on a jet-ski

29. Be in the same city as the superbowl --- extra points if I get to attend

30. Get Married!

31. Start a new job

32. Start a business with one of my many ideas

33. Hire Lyrispect and Men Maa Aim Ra to perform at an event I've planned

34. Perfect my grown woman voice

35. Record and watch myself speaking in a business setting --- see the point for #34??

36. Get Published!!! In a journal, magazine or newspaper

37. Feel confident wearing my Jimmy Choo shoes on a reasonable basis

38. Weave it up for the first time and work it like it's mine

39. Find and buy a bra that creates CLEAVAGE!!! Then Wear it as appropriate

40. Plan and Execute the Next Glamour Girls Retreat Weekend

41. Support someone special in reaching out to their dad for the first time

42. Work on a political campaign that I really believe in

43. Take Pepper to the beach

44. Visit all my friends in Rochester

45. Go to another Pitt Homecoming, but this time work with some people to set up a nice alum event

46. Go to a Bengals game IN Cinci -- can I get OchoCinco's autograph too???

47. Become active in my Church

48. Revamp my Wardrobe - get rid of College stuff unless they are oldies but goodies

49. Learn to sew!

50. Design and make my own shirt or dress

51. Type up my childhood poetry... make good use of it

52. Visit NYC for NYE!!!

53. Create Photo Album/ Scrapbook for my mom

54. Test Drive the Audi R8

55. Visit a Van Cleef & Arpels store and try on my Feerie watch in Blue

56. Eat or have drinks at Adour in DC

57. Take a tour of the White House

58. Video myself doing something and post on YouTube

59. Read Act Like a Lady but Think like a Man (updated March 22)

60. Read the Audacity of Hope and Return to E -- I just realized I still had it... *smh

61. See a multi-million dollar home in person

62. Have 3 girls-only dates with Janelle Z... gotta start somewhere!

63. Buy some work-out gear... it's really sad that all of my stuff is from high school and college

64. Earn six-figures in one year

65. Participate in the Spencer Wedding Party Reunion - TBD

66. Go camping with Tamra

67. Stay at a cute bed and breakfast, just because

68. Experience Niagara Falls with Julian

69. Buy and wear a pair of over the knee boots.... I should have bought those red ones...

70. Stay at the Palazzo in Las Vegas

71. Learn how to make Red Velvet cake

72. Read the Bible, front to back... but not necessarily in front to back order

73. Learn to MEDITATE.... I think this is vital for me (got an overview, now to put in practice)

74. Ride my bike through a trail, alone

75. 64 oz. of water daily for 21 straight days... apparently thats how long it takes to make a habit (day 12-- but day 11 was tough, may go 22 days just to make up)

76. Sit with my dad and ask him to tell me about my grandparents, and my family

77. Visit my Brother, Janelle and Tristan 5 times... again, gotta start somewhere (1 down)

78. Go through the storage room and finally decide what stays and what goes...

79. Fill up my change jar with change then cash it in!

80. Sign up and complete a second Yoga Class

81. Take a cruise around the Mediterranean

82. Spend a weekend away with Da

83. Use my Reflexology Gift Certificate

84. Finish this bottle of Multi-Vitamins for women

85. Wear perfume or scented lotion every day for a month... no reason for this stuff to go bad

86. Host a dinner at home inviting family and friends

87. Visit Houston and actually get to see the town!

88. Give Carter, Kiragu Jr and Nick Jr there presents; Mail Anika her presents (Lil Nicholas done)

89. Buy myself a Prada bag.... I've had my eye on the line with ruffles for some time now...

90. Help my mom get a dog... I don't know if I can part with Pep

91. Go to an event at the Clarice Smith Performing Arts Center

92. Stop a soldier in uniform and thank them for their service

93. Buy seasons 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 of Monk

94. Visit Aunt Kathy, James and Evan before Evan goes off to college

95. Go to a broadway show

96. Visit the Grand Canyon

97. Take a weekend away for myself - no phone (well... 2 hours at night), no laptop.. just me

98. Upgrade my Camera... I take enough pictures

99. Play in a Poker Tournament

100. Pay off my school loans... wooooweeeee... this would be soooo amazing

101. Make a new list of 101 things by November 4, 2012

2010

Back from my hiatus, I hope no one missed me too much. It's not that I didn't have anything to write about... to the contrary, there has been so much going on that it was slightly overwhelming to try and capture it all in a simple blog. That being said, I have missed writing. It's a release for me, and I'm going to try to do better through the next 3 quarters of 2010.

2009 was a doozy of a year. I visited my cousin Lee Lee yesterday and we just reflected on how much has happened over the last few years. I won't recount it all here, but both of us have moved, changed relationships, changed jobs and other significant events. But I guess that's the one thing about life that is always true - it changes.

I'm in a very happy place now. While I still am overdrawn in terms of time because of work and school, I have a sense of peace, personally, and I can tell you that it is an immeasurable feeling. And the things that have brought about some stress will be ending soon. I am grateful.

If it's conditional, it's not Love

Today on Facebook I decided to update an application called "God wants you to know" and this is what I got:

On this day, God wants you to know...
... that there is no such thing as conditional love. Love is either unconditional or it's no love. You might like someone conditional on their personality or behavior or circumstances. But love accepts no boundaries. So never say 'I love you because', for love has no cause, love comes from God.

I've been guilty of asking a significant other to explain their love for me by asking them why they do, and yet when I have truly loved, I know there isn't a rational reason... It's like the love that you share with your family and dearest friends. Can you imagine asking your sister why she loves you? Asking your parent or grandparent or cousin? Of course not. Despite their flaws, habits, failures or even actions, your love for them remains (although you may not like them).

If this isn't the case, then it isn't love.

I've used the word love with some freedom. I've said it for many reasons (they said it first, or it seemed like the thing to say) and justified it because there were things that I loved about that person. I have loved before, in the true sense of the word. Those I truly loved, I still do despite the circumstances that separated us.

I don't think loving someone is the end all be all, and maybe this is where I can be challenged. The idea that there is one "true love" is unacceptable to me. I believe that we are meant to love throughout our loves and hopefully, we will be blessed enough to love and be loved romantically by one person for a long, long time.

In the meantime, it's likely we will love people that we are fundamentally incompatible with and we can't discount this because of our love. You have to see them for who they are, and while you can still love them, realize that to be with them will make one or both of you miserable. This goes against our instincts - if you love someone, you have to make it work... but this assumes that it can when sometimes it cannot.

*sigh*

I think that's all I wanted to say about that, but when you realize that you do love someone, and they love you, and the relationship works... hold onto it.

Vicious Cycles

I used to talk to a dear friend of mine about circles. We would sit at Applebee's or Ruby Tuesdays and I would reflect life, past relationships and talk about how so often things circled back to where they started. Lost loves come back, wanting second chances. Things that you were interested in years ago become interesting again...

The circles also work for your behavior. We tend to repeat our actions, circling back to what we used to do even if we know it doesn't produce good results. I have circles of this type and I realize that it's time to break them. Earlier this week I had a behavioral circle show it's ugly head. I pushed, knowing full well I shouldn't. It was almost an out of body thing, where I could see it, and knew I should stop, but I didn't. It wasn't to the magnitude as it has been in the past, but it was enough to cause an issue and by the time I caught my tongue, the damage was done.

Not at all what I wanted and part of my sadness stemmed from knowing that even though there was some validity in both sides, I wasn't being myself and I allowed a protective shell to do my talking for me. I know better, and I have to do better if I want better.

After some prayer, and some reflection I was able to have the conversation I should have had in the first place, and things have felt so much better... Sometimes you have to let the circles go.