As much as I like to claim to be an open book, the truth is, when it comes to certain topics, I tend to be pretty private. See, I have concentric circles, levels if you will, that correspond to my closeness to you, and the information I'm willing to share.
Level 1 - The big picture. You get to know my interests, what I do for money (at a basic level), a bit about my family, etc.
Level 2 - Details. You know about my relationships with my family, a lot more details about my work, specifics about my interests, etc.
Level 3 - The intangibles. You get to know a decent amount about my feelings, my insecurities, my dreams, my motivation.
Level 4 - The quirks. You know what it means when I say things in a particular way, or why I'm doing something that others may not understand. You know why I prefer heels to flats even though I love sports. You know what makes me smile, cry, yell, blush...
I'd like to talk about blushing....
There is this concept of "Girl Talk" that men (and women I suppose) have. I think men enjoy the idea that the women they are with talk *positively* about them - how they treat them, what they do, how they feel... even now, I can't just out and say the intimacy part but you get the picture.
I've never really been one of these girl talkers. I rebuff any inquiries with boring responses like, "oh, everythings fine," or "yeah, I like him." That's probably why I don't tend to get into these conversations with people, not even TP2. Things are changing though, with ladies nights, and different parties, (newer) friends are talking to me about personal things, and consequently, I think I'm sharing more.
It's interesting. Not sure how I feel about it yet, but I guess it could be educational. I've already learned a few new things *smile, blush*
What do you all think about kissing and telling? If you're a guy, do you tell your boys about your interactions with women? Does it matter if you're serious about the woman or not? If you're a woman, do you brag on your man to your friends? Do you slam a guy if he's lacking in some area? What about your "Oops" experiences...
Taking the blog to Level 2.... To Be Continued
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3 comments:
I think I got demoted. :(
I tend to be a more private person when it comes to sharing things about those with whom I'm involved. Especially if the interaction is fairly new and I'm not sure of my interests in him. But like you I do have those friends within my innermost circle that I know I automatically share and dish with - and they with me. It's therapeutic to share and know that what you've done/experienced is not unique (or even if it is ). But I can respect a "don't kiss and tell" policy as long as it ian't for fear of embarassment. If nothing else it's "girl talk" is funny b/c we've all had some moments that we aren't so proud of and some that we want to sing from the rooftops about. So having a few people you can talk to w/o reservation is always good!
Overall, kissing and telling is not the best thing to do. A lot of times you end up sharing with people who have not necessarily been where you've been and know what you know which really makes them unqualified to participate. Its like a mechanic trying to teach math. There is no reason for the mechanic to even think he will have an impact on learning the subject. Instead, why not share those moments, happy or sad, with the person that would love to hear them just as much as you, who is there for you in every way, and build your foundation of openess with one another as opposed to "kissing and telling" with people who may or may not even be your friend next month or next week, for that matter. Knowing you have that relationship with your mate is much more fulfilling than guy or girl talk. If you can't share w/your mate are you "kissing and telling" about the right person? Hmmmm?
You can always measure the seriousness of a guy by the way he talks about you and who he talks about you with. If a guy talks about his interactions with you with his boys, sorry to say, you are not that high in the totem pole, as of yet. Guys are different from women in that sense, the less he talks about you to his boys the more he probably likes you. If he talks about you to another woman or his mother, you're in! Of course, you will probably never know anyway who he talks to about you or if he talks to anyone about you at all.
I don't typically "kiss and tell", although I did in my day about women who I knew for short period of time, probably a weekend. There was no seriousness at all, they were lacking, AND/OR they had an oops! Those were good stories and sometimes funny. However, I think men outgrow "kissing and telling" as they mature. Men become self actualized and do not need that group. Where women need to express themselves w/their girls, a man will see his boys whenever he sees them...
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