There are some pains that no one else can understand... pains that you alone feel.
Losing a child... losing a spouse... losing a sibling... losing a parent. Even if you've experienced a loss like this, it is very difficult to put yourself in the shoes of someone who is enduring that pain now.
Someone I care about deeply lost their mother yesterday. I cannot begin to feel that pain. I felt utter sadness and helplessness. I was there to help with logistics, to hug and hold, to listen... but I know it wasn't enough. There wasn't anything I could really do... there was no "better".
When I was alone, I got on my knees and I prayed. I asked God to provide comfort, to wrap him in his arms and help him find peace. I asked God to give him strength, and to help shoulder the burden that would be placed at home. I prayed that I would serve as a support, and that I would only say and do things that would provide comfort. I also prayed that God would allow the connection between mother and child to remain beyond life here... They were so close.
I then went back, and we prayed together. I felt like my words were shallow... but I hoped that they were received in the way I intended...
Thanksgiving is this week. It's the time when we make a concerted effort to thank God for our blessings, our loved ones... We are more aware of our joys and pains. I'll continue to pray for him and his family, and that I can be a useful support... I will also pray that God work on me to be a better friend, (grand)daughter, sister, cousin, classmate, employee, American, person...
I know he has wonderful memories with his mother that he can hold now. I know she is proud of the man she raised. I know he admired her more than anyone. I know she will always be with him. Please make sure that you let those you love know it. Time is not promised to any of us, we must do our best with the time we've been given.
I wish I had more words...
just more...
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Death is one of the most difficult events that humanity deals with. In the beginning there was no death so humanity was not originally wired to deal with it. But as the days go on everything passes around us. Thus, our feelings are subject to our beliefs in salvation. Without getting too preachy I will just say that death is but a sleep and reunions are often better than unions. Look forward to the future when we will all be reunited with loved ones. Below I have attached my favorite poem. If you really read it helps us understand ourselves a little better.
On Pain
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses
your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its
heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the
daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem
less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart,
even as you have always accepted the seasons that
pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the
winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within
you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy
in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by
the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has
been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has
moistened with His own sacred tears.
Khalil Gibran
Lanie you are such a compassionate person and that’s what I love about you. I’m extremely sorry for your friend’s loss and my prayers go out to him and his family. The loss he’s experienced is unimaginable to me. He’s very fortunate to have you as a dear friend and during these hard times.
As your friend, I worry about you a lot, especially when you take the burden of others and the weight of the world on your shoulders. You’re so caring that I recognize it’s an innate part of who you are as person. For that very reason I will also continue to pray for you. Even though you can not directly relate to the pain he’s experiencing right now, you have experienced ‘loss’ in some shape or form during your lifetime. I’m sure he appreciates you for being there. So just continue to be that kind, sweet, and supportive person that you are. It will be okay. Promise.
I’m here if you need to talk. Love ya babes.
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