My Judgement Free Journey - Part 1

Being comfortable with my own spiritual journey has not always been easy. My background is unique in that I was exposed to Christianity, Judaism and Islam during my childhood, and it took me a long time to understand what all the differences were between them... still learning.

As a child, I noticed a few things about them all:
- Belief in a higher being
- Principles and morals
- Prayer
- Praise
- Worship and Fellowship

The implementation may have been different, but I saw a lot of similarities. There were good people of all faiths; my friends and family. My parents wanted to leave the door open for me, not pushing me in any particular direction, and I didn't move in one for a long time. I prayed every night - the same prayer my Muslim Aunt taught me when I was a child. I attended a variety of religious functions and I made it my life goal to be a good person. I also made an unspoken decision to be a Christian.

The discussion of religion came up in high school, and a classmate lashed out at me when I said I didn't have a church home or go to church consistently. This was a girl I'd spent time with, gone out with, talked to on a regular basis. That day, in my mind, she did everything but call me a heathen. This event stands out because it was the first time I thought seriously about hypocrisy and judgement. I wondered how a person who I knew to be a sinner on multiple levels could so vocally cast a stone in my direction because I didn't go to church and she did. I was hurt, and I didn't understand. At the time I don't remember if I confided in anyone, but I do know I withdrew and was hesitant to engage in conversations about religion with others...

In college I experienced more spiritual growing pains. I dated a guy who was a Christian, and he asked me to read the bible with him, and come to church with him one particular day. We read, but I was defensive, afraid he would judge me as religiously ignorant and I pulled away. I could feel a rift begin and was sad because I didn't know how to fix it. I began reading verses randomly. I received a "Possibility Thinkers" bible that I still use today and would look up specific words I wanted to learn more about. I even started sharing verses with the guy when he'd do something "wrong" (improper I know). I also began visiting churches in college. Mt. Ararat, another small church in Shadyside and a few others before settling in at Macedonia. I was moved by the services there and felt at home until I graduated. This was also the first time I know I consciously, knowingly and with full desire confessed aloud that Jesus Christ was my Lord and Savior...

To be continued.