Vicious Cycles

I used to talk to a dear friend of mine about circles. We would sit at Applebee's or Ruby Tuesdays and I would reflect life, past relationships and talk about how so often things circled back to where they started. Lost loves come back, wanting second chances. Things that you were interested in years ago become interesting again...

The circles also work for your behavior. We tend to repeat our actions, circling back to what we used to do even if we know it doesn't produce good results. I have circles of this type and I realize that it's time to break them. Earlier this week I had a behavioral circle show it's ugly head. I pushed, knowing full well I shouldn't. It was almost an out of body thing, where I could see it, and knew I should stop, but I didn't. It wasn't to the magnitude as it has been in the past, but it was enough to cause an issue and by the time I caught my tongue, the damage was done.

Not at all what I wanted and part of my sadness stemmed from knowing that even though there was some validity in both sides, I wasn't being myself and I allowed a protective shell to do my talking for me. I know better, and I have to do better if I want better.

After some prayer, and some reflection I was able to have the conversation I should have had in the first place, and things have felt so much better... Sometimes you have to let the circles go.